Christ Church to Implement System “Whited Points” to Encourage Good Behavior

(The following Article is a work of satire)

This Monday, administrators announced that CCES will begin using a point system to assess the quality of students. Behavior and actions that a council of administrators deem to be “good” will be awarded a “Whited Point”. To earn points, students must do things such as: turn in their homework, ask their teacher how their weekend was, get a good grade on a test, or bring Mr. Clark a Krispy-Kreme doughnut. Students can also lose points by doing things such as not singing in chapel, sitting on tables, calling Mr. Whited “Aaron”, parking violations, or giving a teacher a glazed over look.  Expect a schoology post from Mrs. Bouldin containing the exact ways to earn and lose “Whited Points”. At the end of every Friday, students will be able to trade in their accumulated “Whited Points” for fun prizes in the front office. These prizes include but are not limited to: a bouncy ball, $5 dollar iTunes gift card, $13 in fun money from Frankie’s-Fun park, or Jesus-themed silly-bandz. 100 “Whited Points” will earn students a private brunch with Dr. Kupersmith.