The Muppets have long been a cultural phenomenon. They’re zany, heartfelt, and loveable, making them the perfect cast to adapt beloved stories. This has been done with Muppets: Treasure Island (featuring the incredible Tim Curry) and Muppets: A Christmas Carol (the best Christmas movie of all time). While these movies are fantastic, the Muppet Classics adaptation department is lacking. Here are my propositions for classic stories I think the Muppets should adapt. If a Disney executive is reading this, call me.

Edgar Allen Poe short stories:

This is a little different than my other suggestions as it would be more of a vignette style situation than a full length feature film. This short form style would allow for beloved Muppet characters to share the spotlight more equally. Classics like “The Tell Tale Heart,” “The Pit and the Pendulum,” “The Cask of Amontillado,” and “The Raven” would be lovely to see performed by familiar faces.

The Muppets have already proven their ability to do creepy with “A Christmas Carol,” but Muppets Edgar Allen Poe would be a whole new level of spooky. I think Fozzie would make a compelling Fortunato. I can hear his silly little voice as he’s walled up in the dank cellar.

I was a kid who loved creepy stuff, and I feel like the kid-friendly scary market is lacking. Having some spooky stories told by the Muppets would have been right up my alley, and I think a lot of kids would agree.

Frankenstein:

Back on the theme of one human per Muppet movie, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein offers the perfect opportunity for this. A cast full of zany Muppet characters with a human as Frankenstein’s creation is almost too perfect.

Frankenstein has already proven its comedic adaptability (Young Frankenstein, anyone), so there’s no concern on that front. Furthermore, the Muppets always bring a certain level of sincerity to their stories that is necessary for a Frankenstein adaptation.

Now we move on to casting. The mad scientist character of Frankenstein and his henchman, Igor, allow for a large role for two underappreciated characters: Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and his assistant, Beaker. Bunsen and Beaker have long been some of my favorite Muppets, and I believe they get an inadequate amount of screen time. Their relationship is dynamic and fun to watch. I do recognize that Igor is not a part of the original novel, but he has become a key part of the Frankenstein story. Besides, the casting of Dr. Honeydew and Beaker is just too perfect to pass up.

Pride and Prejudice:

The most classic love story of all time told by the most beloved of characters. Picture it: a morose and foggy field, late in the day. A handsome suitor is visible on the horizon, linen shirt wiping open as he traverses the clearing. The epitome of male excellence. And who better to portray that than the amphibian himself: Kermit the Frog.

Aside from this incredible mental image, there are many reasons I believe the Muppets are the ideal format for a Pride and Prejudice adaptation. Let’s start with the elephant (or Snuffleupagus) in the room. There is no Pride and Prejudice without Elizabeth Bennet. And there are no Muppets without Miss Piggy. An independent, beautiful woman who shies away from societal expectations could be descriptors for either character. Am I describing Elizabeth or Miss Piggy? Who can say? In fact, the characters are so similar that the lines between the two blur, making Miss Piggy the superior casting choice.

Then we come to the character of Mr. Darcy. A kind and thoughtful man, Mr. Darcy is the epitome of a gentleman. Who else is the epitome of a gentleman, you ask? I think you already know my answer. Kermit the Frog.

Miss Piggy and Kermit have always been something of an unlikely pairing, making their chemistry as Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy a no-brainer. Additionally, their deep love for one another ensures their ability to accurately portray the intense romantic feelings present between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.

We finally come to the character of Mr. Collins. It is customary of a Muppets movie to have at least one human actor, and in my dream casting of The Muppets Pride and Prejudice, this singular human would be Mr. Collins. He’s awkward. He’s standoffish. He doesn’t fit in. He’s clearly the only human in this wonderful Muppet equation.